February 18, 2008

Smile Clown

I was walking home tonight in the dark when one of the many hobos I pass by on downtown Telegraph St. asked me for money again.

"I'm stranded can you help me out..."

Well, who's poor planning caused you to be stranded? Time to take responsibility for your actions and stop begging for my hard earned cash!

I decided to at least offer him my copy of The Onion as it was a very funny issue and because, hey - in times of no money it's always great to have a good chuckle...

November 15, 2007

New Oakland Transit Center Unveiled and Marred!

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AC Transit kicked off their shiny new Transit Center on 20th St. Downtown. The bus pick up area features expensive new bus shelters with plexiglass. It wasn't until a few hours after the workers finished installation and the VIPs, politicos and press went home that punk thugs struck the area and vandalized the station with graffiti.

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Why does Oakland even bother with such fancy public facilities when they will be ruined instantly. Notice the new fancy parking meters installed around town. They are now totem poles for taggers!

March 26, 2007

Boycott this Chevron!

Well, after sending a letter to the corporate parent of the over-priced and beggar infested Chevron station on Telegraph and Grand and getting no satisfaction (and this after seeing two guys tag team the customers just this evening), it's time to boycott!

Let the owner(s) of this station that charges between 25 and 30 cents MORE than the station across the street and lets its customers be harrassed by aggressive beggars know that this is unacceptable!!

Mr. George Kim
CHV CHONG & MYUNG, INC.
2200 TELEGRAPH AVE. OAKLAND CA 94612-2316
(510) 268-1893

Here's the reply I received from Chevron's Consumer Affairs dept.

Dear Mr. Curtains,

We would like to follow-up with you regarding to the complaint that you filed with the Consumer Connection Center on August 8, 2006. As you recall we mentioned at that time that we would contact the retailer, CHONG & MYUNG, INC., and ask for a response from the station within 14 business days. As of September 6, 2006 we have not received a response from the station.

As of today’s date we have not received a response from the station.

The role of the Consumer Connection Center is to resolve customer problems with company owned stations when we are able, to act as a mediator between the customer and a Chevron retailer or marketer, and to facilitate a reimbursement when warranted. Many times a dispute can be resolved to the satisfaction of both the customer and the dealer. Unfortunately, other times like this one we have not been able to gather any information from the station owner to assist us in resolving this dispute.

For further questions please contact the statio owner:
Mr. George Kim
CHV CHONG & MYUNG, INC.
2200 TELEGRAPH AVE. OAKLAND CA 94612-2316
(510) 268-1893

March 10, 2007

Burger Pig

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It's time to play catch up here at Chauvi's!

Wow, what a Center of Pestilence this place has become! We're talking about the "1/4 lb. Giant Burgers" joint on Telegraph and 22nd St. in downtown Oakland.

Much of this blighted neighborhood's garbage can be traced back to this shit pit. If you walk down Telegraph near Grand, be careful not to step on the trail of Ketchup packets that form smeary red land mines throughout the neighborhood. Strewn trash from all around the neighborhood emenates from here as late night zombies get their grease fix then spew their trash on the ground, the bus stop and anywhere but the many garbage containers that the City of Oakland has set up in vain hope of giving the nimrods a place to toss thier trash.

If you walk by (remember - don't step on a ketcup packet), be in store for a treat as the cook's smoke inside while they make burgers!

~Bon Appétit!

July 30, 2006

Should Oakland Be Declared "State of Emergency"?

Last week I had to make an emergency call to the Oakland Police Department to report a break-in in progress to my dwelling. Unfortunately this call took 15 minutes to get an operator! This operator also happened to be the nearby CHP office which had to then transfer me to the Oakland PD (a few more minutes). This kind of response is absolutely unacceptable! Will it take doubling the 911 budget? If so, it must be done NOW! Another sad fact is that this isn't the first time I've had an over ten minute delay in reaching 911.

All extra city services as parking, parks, libraries should take a back seat to the 911 operations. If it takes the city government having the National Guard come in to fill the slack it should be done immediately.

In Oakland, a terrorist, hoodlum or maniac could go on a shooting spree and kill hundreds of people until the police are notified. A person can die in a medical emergency well before the ambulance arrived.

Mayor Brown, Oakland City council, you must DECLARE A STATE OF EMERGENCY NOW! Fifteen minutes to get a 911 operator at several different times is a symptom of a total break down of emergency city services. Do the right thing and call in reinforcements!

Tunnel of Terror

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Recent construction at the Uptown Oakland location 25th and Telegraph has created a Tunnel of Terror! Pedestrians have to walk under the scaffolding with a giant black sheath on the outside.

What lurks inside? One of the many drugged out crackheads that dwell nearby? A whacked out panhandler looking for some cash for the liquor store next door? A gangsta hood looking for your wallet? If some loser doesn't accost you,the stench of human waste, garbage or construction debris can harsh your mellow real fast!

July 16, 2006

Where Are the Wheelchairs?

Apparently Handicapped parking (signified by the blue sign with an icon of a wheelchair) isn't for people that are mobily challenged by wheelchairs anymore. Apparently you can talk your doctor into giving you a Handicap permit just for being fat, or walking without pep. By these standards over 50% of the population is now eligible for such privileges.

Why does one get the perk of parking close to a huge store like Costco when you are going to walk several hunded yards inside? As you can see in this video, everyone can walk fine and several subjects are seen easily loading the giant containers or heavy flats of cans they bought at Costco.

It's the opinion of Chauvi's that this program be scrapped and new permits be issued to only those that need wheelchairs or some kind of mobilty assistance. At this rate there are going to be no parking spaces for those truly in need with wheelchairs, or let's just rename this parking area as "Lame Parking", because being fat, slow or old isn't Handicapped!

June 04, 2006

Oakland Spring Clean?

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Sometimes the spring cleaning bug hits certain households in Oakland. This can result in some spontaneous, large piles of refuse on the sidewalk. Why bother taking care of your old throw-aways when you can just dump it outside and let someone else deal with it?

This 'yard-sale' was seen in a neighborhood in West Oakland. Hope your neighbors don't do this...

May 28, 2006

"Full Service" Chevron

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Ah, the remember the 'good old days' when you could pull into a gas station and receive prompt, courteous service right at your car? Well, there's a new version of Service Attendant at the Chevron Station at 2200 Telegraph and Grand in downtown Oakland!

Within moments of pulling into this station and getting out of your car, a service representative will come out to greet you! Is he going to ask if you want your tire pressure checked or your windows washed? Nope! He's going to tell you a story and shake you down for your cash! Do these guys work for the station? The gas station doesn't seem to do anything to discourage them, they must be in some kind of affiliate or proxy service arrangement!

Chauvi's has noticed that women get special treatment and will be escorted wherever they walk around the station by these Service Attendants.

Sorry the photos are of poor quality. We will update with one of our newer cameras soon!

May 09, 2006

Hive Hall of Shame

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It is time we focus our scrutinizing eye on the many, shabby, sub-standared dwellings that dot the cityscape of Oakland. These multi-user dwellings are hives of crime and filth. The residents don't seem to show any pride in their residence and the owners poorly maintain them. Some have turned into hives of crime and neglect. Many of them need to be leveled and replaced by market rate lofts or condos.

This months Hive Hall of Shame winner is next to the newer Telegraph Lofts on 24th and Telegraph. Walk around the block to 25th st. and you can see that this is quite a different place. The first thing you notice is the stench, then the garbage that's strewn about. What a disgusting place. There's usually matresses and discarded appliances in the back too.

April 10, 2006

Pidgeon Lady Pidgeon Holed

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I sometimes park my car near 24th and Telegraph in Oakland's edgey boho district. It seems there is an unusually high level of pidgeon poop on my car whenever I park around here. In fact there's pidgeon shit all over the place! I noticed that there seems to always be a pile of bread crumbs and some water dishes on the sidewalk across the street from The Telegraph condos.

Who would perpetuate and encourage these 'rats with wings'? There's already so much garbage in the 'hood the last thing we need is pidgeon feces all over the place.

Well my answer came the other morning when I saw this person caught in the act of feeding the little buggers. Why in hell do people do this? Do they really need little animal friends that badly? I'm thinking it would be an interesting experiment to breed cockroaches near your house! They can be trained to do tricks and they keep me company! OK, this Professor is getting a little sarcastic. But to see the citizens of this struggling area (there's a nearby Seniors home) have to walk though the filth produced by this persons actions makes this patron of civility shake his head.

BART Van Winkle

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It seems more and more sleepy-heads are found snoozing on BART during the morning commute. Are these people really on such a long ride they can't stay away and need to take up the entire seat (almost always the rear seat of the train). Most commuters are to pussy-assed to wake one of these snoozers up in order to share the seat, even on a packed car!

I find it fun to give them a poke and request my right to the seat. I wonder if these folks in the Land of Nod are really just using the train to hangout. Prof. Curtains is reasonable and can understand snoozing a bit on a long commute but sacking and taking up an entire seat like you're in a sleeping car is so gauche!

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